Hot sauce makes you think funny things...

I was sitting during my lunch hour, enjoying a yummy bowl of teriyaki veggies and rice when it hit me. Six months ago, never would I have imagined that I would be sitting in my own corner office, overlooking Bay St, eating teriyaki. What had happened? What brought me to this place?

At this moment, a co-worker popped her head into my office.

"Your lunch smells good! Ohmygod! AreyouOKAY?"

"Oh yeah, uhhh, this hot sauce is a little strong...but so good!" *I wipe my runny nose and blink away the tears*

"Uhhh, okay. I'll see you at the meeting."

Meeting? Oh yeah...they let me go to those here! Six months ago, the idea to a meeting would have been unheard of! Being the one with the least seniority meant that your role was to let others make you remember that you were the newbie. Responsibility meant throwing more at you than you could handle, until you were forced to ask for help, which of course was a sign of weakness. Any mistakes were tallied at the end of the day and reviewed. Not with you of course. But while you were in the room, working independently, and not supposed to be reviewed. If you did become overwhelmed and ask for help, if someone else made an error doing your work, they were not reprimanded. But if you made the mistake...well the next time you were ever sick, you could definitely count on being written up for it. Sick days of course were not given.

But the idea of also having money in my bank account. Like actual savings. I think over the 6 months I worked at my previous job, I managed to save $1000. I thought that was a big deal, since one paycheck alone would be used up in rent and transportation costs. But the crazy thing is, the entire time I was there, i grateful I was there. I never expected anything better. I never really imagined anything better. I believed that once I paid my dues, once I gained more experience, once I proved myself...but that never happened.

What did happen was this job. Which, Alhamdulillah, is amazing. I'm learning new things, meeting new people, given more responsibility than I think I can handle, actually informing decisions on things that will affect the province! I was told that I'd be travelling on business in the next coming weeks. ME! Travelling! Representing the Ministry! And they actually want to pay for it! Mindblowing. So much so that it's even hard to write about it. I've been given an opportunity, but the odd thing is, it seems to have been handed to me. I don't remember ever wanting this or preparing for it or contemplating it. But it's here now. I'm trying to make the most of it, because life is moving at such a pace that I can't anticipate what's around the corner for me. Strange isn't it? We spend so much time living that we don't take time to reflect, but it's not until we reflect that we come to understand how grateful we should be for what we have.