Aftermath of the bomb-drop: Coffee Crunch

A few weeks ago my branch announced a major re-organization of the structure. They were bringing new people in, people had to compete for jobs they were already in, and the way files were distributed was going to change - along with the people handling them. Of course, I was affected in this re-org. Most of my team stayed together, but I was moved as far away from them as possible (structurally). Physically I was still in my office. The re-org wasn't to take place til November, but I, of course, was moved right away. I switched files, teams, managers and got over it.

Then today, another bomb was dropped. Big one that shifts the way that business is done at my branch. After that news was shared, the little whisperings and speculative remarks began. A co-worker and myself decided to take a walk to find Del Monte popsicles and discuss the happenings. That's when I came across the "Coffee Crunch".

Up until today, I had never eaten any Haagen Dazs ice cream. I was innocent of all the deliciousness it was advertised to offer. So, I bought my cavity filled mouth a $4 Haagen Dazs Coffee Crunch ice cream bar.

It was...interesting to say the least. I always thought it was an old person ice cream brand. I don't know, maybe it's cause it always seemed to cater to a more sophisticated pallete. Or maybe because the packaging pattern resembles furniture likely to be found in Ms. Havisham's house. Either way, it seems my initial conjecture was correct.

The ice cream itself was a nice consistency. Thick, yet soft. The outer coating was a little too sweet for me, made only sweeter by the chunks of biscotti (the "crunch" part). The ice cream was not too sweet, a very real coffee flavouring - which let's be honest, it's the most important part of this whole endeavour.

Halfway through I started to get a sickening stomachache. You know the kind that you get when you think you've eaten something not quite halal? It's like your body's rejecting the food, because it can sense that it's not supposed to be in you. I grabbed the box and read off the ingredients. The ingredients were enough to make me ickier! Liquid egg yolk??? Milk chocolate and vegetable oil coating??? That did not make it sound any more appetizing!!! I continued my search for the unhalal ingredient listing. It must be there somewhere! This has to be one of those rare ice creams brands that are unhalal and uncool.

Alas, there was nothing not halal about it. My stomachache was due to something else - I'd forgotten how eating ice cream makes you feel sick when you're lactose intolerant.