My goal: To start with just one

I had a lovely afternoon. Lovely why? Well, because this afternoon I spent watching a two hour film of the most depressing human tragedy in recent years. And it reminded me what it means to care.

This afternoon, one of my best friends, my younger sister, her friend from our hometown and I caught
Shake Hands with the Devil at TIFF. The movie is, as most movies about the topic of the Rwandan genocide are, absolutely amazing. Amzing in the sense that the massacre of innocent men, women and children is pitted against the backdrop of apathetic Western nations, while still capturing the very real, very rich and very beautiful Rwandan country and cultures.

This movie, however, was something more for me. It's been a long long while since I've looked up Lieutenant General Roméo Dallaire as a hero of mine. To be able to see the chilling events from his perspective (albeit in two hours) is something that my imagination couldn't think up, even while reading the book on which the movie is based. I've attended, read and heard talks by Major Brent Beardsley and Stephen Lewis, but never had that same opportunity with Dallaire's work (save for a few UN addresses posted online).

So fast forward to today...when sitting 3 rows ahead of me, was Romeo Dallaire himself. I didn't know what to do with myself. This was the man who led a few hundred troops to save the lives of over 30,000 people. 30,000 people who were forgotten by the international community. 30,000 who weren't added to the 1 million who lay slaughtered after 100 days of genocide. I expected Roy Dupuis, Deborah Kara Unger and James Gallanders to be there. Obviously, they starred in the movie (and were also in the same row as him). But Romeo Dallaire himself, sitting there - the though hadn't crossed my mind!

Before the film began, the director spoke about the conditions Dallaire put on making the movie about his role in Rwanda. He said "Tell the truth, make the story about Rwanda and the people, and don't make a hero out of me". You could tell during the numerous standing ovations given to both the film, and to him when he was invited to address the crowd of 1,500, that he still wasn't comfortable with being thrust into the spotlight of "hero" to thousands. If his apparent discomfort wasn't enough, his autobiography details his years in therapy as well as his attempts at suicide in order to forget what he saw in Rwanda. He saved the lives of 30,000 people but was unable to convince the international community that with the added enforcement of a few thousand troops the entire genocide could have been prevented. And he sees that as not only the world failing Rwanda, but his failure as well.

Managing what he did. Surviving what he did. And having the courage to continue to speak about it - I don't see that as failure. But then again, I've never saved anybody's life, let alone an entire nation's.