Friday, April 27, 2007

Hot sauce makes you think funny things...

I was sitting during my lunch hour, enjoying a yummy bowl of teriyaki veggies and rice when it hit me. Six months ago, never would I have imagined that I would be sitting in my own corner office, overlooking Bay St, eating teriyaki. What had happened? What brought me to this place?

At this moment, a co-worker popped her head into my office.

"Your lunch smells good! Ohmygod! AreyouOKAY?"

"Oh yeah, uhhh, this hot sauce is a little strong...but so good!" *I wipe my runny nose and blink away the tears*

"Uhhh, okay. I'll see you at the meeting."

Meeting? Oh yeah...they let me go to those here! Six months ago, the idea to a meeting would have been unheard of! Being the one with the least seniority meant that your role was to let others make you remember that you were the newbie. Responsibility meant throwing more at you than you could handle, until you were forced to ask for help, which of course was a sign of weakness. Any mistakes were tallied at the end of the day and reviewed. Not with you of course. But while you were in the room, working independently, and not supposed to be reviewed. If you did become overwhelmed and ask for help, if someone else made an error doing your work, they were not reprimanded. But if you made the mistake...well the next time you were ever sick, you could definitely count on being written up for it. Sick days of course were not given.

But the idea of also having money in my bank account. Like actual savings. I think over the 6 months I worked at my previous job, I managed to save $1000. I thought that was a big deal, since one paycheck alone would be used up in rent and transportation costs. But the crazy thing is, the entire time I was there, i grateful I was there. I never expected anything better. I never really imagined anything better. I believed that once I paid my dues, once I gained more experience, once I proved myself...but that never happened.

What did happen was this job. Which, Alhamdulillah, is amazing. I'm learning new things, meeting new people, given more responsibility than I think I can handle, actually informing decisions on things that will affect the province! I was told that I'd be travelling on business in the next coming weeks. ME! Travelling! Representing the Ministry! And they actually want to pay for it! Mindblowing. So much so that it's even hard to write about it. I've been given an opportunity, but the odd thing is, it seems to have been handed to me. I don't remember ever wanting this or preparing for it or contemplating it. But it's here now. I'm trying to make the most of it, because life is moving at such a pace that I can't anticipate what's around the corner for me. Strange isn't it? We spend so much time living that we don't take time to reflect, but it's not until we reflect that we come to understand how grateful we should be for what we have.

Monday, April 16, 2007

You know what they say about people who assume...

(Okay Roo, I know I said that it would be done in list form, but that will have to wait. Perhaps this will prove to be an interesting topic)

Today at lunch, I was joined by my sister (who needed money and was conveniently there to be fed as well) and a co-worker. This co-worker of mine was venting about a min-conflict she had just had with another woman in our office. The my lunchmate had volunteered to assist in some fundraising activity being done by the larger organization I am a part of, which involved going from office to office selling 50-50 tickets. The point of the fundraiser was to help clean up a much needed area of Toronto and build a playgruond for schoolchildren. Well, she sold a ticket to this woman and then let it slip that the school was Catholic. I don't know really the details that followed, but the ticket buyer was upset that she wasn't informed prior to purchasing her ticket that it was a Catholic school. Turns out that this is a very hot topic with her, and as such, she would rather not support the project. The ticket seller didn't understand why it was such a big deal...."Uhh children who need a playground? $2? Good cause?"

Anyway, the conflict was their's to deal with. However, while I was hearing this vent I heard and oft-mentioned criticism of this anti-Catholic playground co-worker. She has somehow negotiated to work only 4 days a week.

(did you all just feel the world stop turning the moment you read that?)

I don't get it...so she works 4 days a week? When I initially heard it, it came from a co-worker who doesn't seem to know whether she's happy where she works or not. I didn't put much stock into what she said. The biggest complaint I heard was, She has kids...so what? Why does that make her special? I should get that treatment too. That was of course from the people who also had kids. From the people wh didn't have kids, it was, She has kids? So what? I don't have kids, how come I can't get that treatment?

All this while I'm thinking, what if you're completely wrong?!?!?! What if it has nothing at al to do with the fact that she has children? Or what if it's a secondary reason? What if her partner is ill and she needs to be there to take them to appointments? What if SHE'S ill? It's absolutely her perogative not to tell anyone (especially since the environment I'm working in seems to enjoy passing details of individuals on at such a rapid pace). And what if it did have to do with her children and her child was sick? Would everyone feel better if the only reason she was given a 4 day work-week was because something was going badly in her life?

But besides that, what if it has nothing to do with her family life? She recently completed work on a huge project that will better the standard of living for hundred of thousands of people in this province. This was a project that took almost 3 years to complete. I'm pretty sure there was some overtime required. Perhaps the others on her time chose to be paid out for their over-time and instead she negotaited herself a 4-hour work week. Her priorities may be different. Why is it such a problem?

That brings me to my question - when did we stop giving others the benefit of the doubt? I mean, when we were younger and for some reason we weren't invited to a birthday party, didn't our parents teach us that maybe there was another reason we didn't get invited? And Oh Yes! You find out that your friend had given your invitation to another friend and both of them shared a lollipop and were out of school with strep throat. (Or something like that).

Anyway, why isn't it a good thing that she gets a 4 day work week? Good for her!



*Mental Note: Befriend her and try to negotiate my own shortened work week.

I have got it...

...it shall be done through lists!

Friday, April 13, 2007

The future - self development and such...

Well now that I’ve provided enough nicknames for myself and related the life story of our family pet, I guess I’ll down to business: the purpose of this blog. In all honesty, I only updated because I didn’t want to virtually snub Roohi. But I have decided to use this blog for self-development. What self-development could that be? (I know right? I’m great just the way I am)

Well in my line of work (makes me sound like a mobster), writing skills are about as up there with schmoozing skills. The sorts of things I write vary from day to day; it could be something as simple as drafting correspondence for the Director to drafting options for new legislation. And when you’re only practicing your writing skills at work, well it doesn’t really give you a chance to try out variations, to test your skills, or really just to grow. Now I don’t ever plan on being a professional writer (unlike my other half who is a very talented writer – you know who you are!), while my profession requires that I be a writer. So I want to develop my skills and that is what this blog shall be about. I do want to be productive.

But here is my concern – I have no direction. I don’t know what this blog is going to be about. Anyone who knows me (well) knows that small talk is not my forte. Chatting about the weather and such bores me if I’m the one who has to initiate it. Tell me it looks cloudy outside and I can talk for hours. But when I have to think up things to say, I’ll pretty much respond by taking a nap instead. Now I know the easy default is to talk about yourself. Again – I’m not exactly Nelson Mandela here. My life isn’t all that interesting or exciting. And I don’t want to resort to talking about conflicts in my life in the hunt to find something entertaining to write about. I don’t mean to pass any judgments about others who may do this, but it’s just not for me.

So now I pose a question to the 3-7 readers I have…what should I write about???

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

A Name Game of Sorts...

1. YOUR SPY NAME: (middle name and current street name)
*I don't have a middle name, I shall use my sister's*

Maryam St. Paul

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, your favorite candy)

Amatul Twix

3. YOUR RAP NAME (first initial of first name, first three or four letters of your last name)

A-Bha

4. YOUR GAMER TAG: (a favorite color, a favorite animal)

Blue Dolphin

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)

Maryam Hamilton

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)

Bha Han Tys

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)

Mayram Nahk

8. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile your dad drives)

The Blue Camry

9. YOUR ACTION HERO NAME: (first name of the main character in the last film you watched, last food you ate)

Jenna Yogourt

Monday, April 02, 2007

10 things you hate about me...Oops! I mean, 5 things you didn't know about me...

Okay, so Roohi tagged me, and as a result, I now need to post 5 things you never knew about me. (I refer to you as if there was someone here, but no one's been reading my blog) Anyway, enough about my incoherent ramblinsg to no one, here are my 5 things:

1. I taught myself how to tie my shoelaces.
Sad but true. It's not that my parents lacked in their nurturing abilities. I was bored one afternoon. I'm still convinced I don't tie them like other people. I remember when I realized I wasn't supposed to know how to tie my shoelaces. My parents were sitting my brother down to teach him how to tie his shoelaces and he was having trouble learning. So I sat down with him and said, Look, it's easy! And that's when my parents were like, Who taught you that?!?!?!?
***On a related note, I also taught myself how to hold a pencil. As a result, I have seriously messed up my fingers.

2. I read the first 5 Harry Potter books in 4 days.
Another sad but true fact. This blog is making me sound pathetic. I got the Harry Potter books as a birthday gift. I had always fought against the Harry Potter series. I'm not a fan of "new" classics. So when I finally decided to give in and read it, I couldn't put it down. I needed the books like I needed air. I read them during exam week (probably not the smartest idea). And now to make the obsession worse, I was gien the adult hardcover, collector's Type A edition, and those books aren't printed until like 6 months after book comes out!

3. I cheated in every colouring contest I ever won.
I guess that means I didn't really win, but if the prizes were mine, that means I won!!! I think my elementary school was used as a research grounds for Disney. They'd have all these colouring contests at my school and give away Disney prize packs, with advanced screening to movies, posters, colouring books, etc. for new Disney movies. That was like winning the lottery for a 6 year old. So anyway, I would always really want to win and I'd spend hours and hours and days and days agonizing over what colours I'd use and how I'd colour the picture. Finally, my mom would just say if you want to win give it to your brother. So he, being much older (and involved in art classes that were more advanced than crayons and poster paint), would colour in my pictures for me, then I'd submit them. I won every single colouring contest when he coloured them in for me. I never won any one in my own. =(

4. I've always wanted to own my own lake.
I think that's pretty much self-explanatory. I'd only ever told one person this. Then, I told another person and that person laughed at me. Not in a "Hahaha, that's so cool" but in a "Hahaha, awwww, you're so cute!" I can't stand that kind of laugh!!! So I have decided to once again go against my better judgment, and let a small set of cyberspace individuals know my dream. Of course the lake must include a cottage and dock and be secluded enough for me to go swimming. And my cottage must have indoor plumbing so I can clean away the lake smell.

5. If I could go back in time, I'd be a part of the Arthurian legend.
Okay, even I've convinced myself I'm a nerd. I've alwasy loved the story and I think I like the ideas of knights and ladies and fighting for what's right. And in every re-telling of the story, there are always really strong women who fight for what they want. And I mean, this is a time before the whole feminist movement...how cool is that? A close second would be Regency England. That's the time period Pride and Prejudice was set in (I think). I could have a lot of fun in either.